Dear Mr. Potato Head,

What's it like knowing you single-handedly sparked the entire plastic surgery industry?

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer

Dear Jim Davis,

What combination of drugs had you taken when you wrote this strip? A betting man says it’s one of the following:

1. Five joints, two bottles of whiskey and a hit of crack
2. Ten lines of blow, a shot of heroin and some PCP
3. Three hits of acid, 15 hash brownies and some fresh mescaline
4. Eight kegs of beer and 10,000 pounds of pure ecstasy

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer

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Comic strip submitted by: Rob P.

Dear Costume Party Organizers,

If you hire a clown to entertain at your party, how do you know if he ever shows up?

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer

Dear Human Events: The National Conservative Weekly,

I recently became aware of your Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries. In case you've forgotten, they are:

1. The Communist Manifesto
2. Mein Kampf
3. Quotations from Chairman Mao
4. The Kinsey Report
5. Democracy and Education
6. Das Kapital
7. The Feminine Mystique
8. The Course of Positive Philosophy
9. Beyond Good and Evil
10. General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money

Pretty impressive list. Not that I've read any of them, but they certainly sound like trouble waiting to happen.

That said, I sat down the other day and somehow (stay calm) came up with ten books I find even MORE harmful than those on your list. Pretty crazy, huh? Anyway, without further ado:

1. Knock-Knock Jokes: They CAN Be Funny
2. You Suck More Than You Think: An Anti-Self Help Guide
3. Africa: Is It Really So Important?
4. Home Dentistry For Dummies
5. Mediocrity: At Least It's Better Than Shitocrity
6. How To Steal From Charities
7. A Photo Guide To Siamese Twin Separation Surgeries
8. Go Wal-Mart Go!: The Benefits of Corporate Rule
9. If You Read This Book, You'll Get AIDS
10. Jokes 'R' Me: The Biography of Carrot Top

If you agree with all or any of my choices, feel free to include them in a future list.

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer

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Link found on Yes But No But Yes

Dear Swiss People,

How do you differentiate between a lifeguard on duty and a patriotic person watching people swim?

Sincerely,

The Rhetorical Letter Writer